I have two more cookbook reviews to post in the next couple of days, but tonight, a quick story–set to music.

Iris’s current favorite bedtime book is Owl at Home by Arnold Lobel, which was one of my favorites when I was a kid, too. One of the stories (which Iris calls “the crying story”) is called “Tearwater Tea,” and in it Owl makes a pot of tea from his own tears, generated by thinking of sad things like uneaten mashed potatoes.

Every time Laurie and I begin reading the story, however, we burst out laughing. The first two lines of “Tearwater Tea” are:

> Owl took the kettle out of the cupboard.

Hilarious, right? Well, I’m getting there. Either by coincidence or due to memories echoing from my youth, I once wrote a song called “The Chicken Bandit,” which was performed by Freebasing Meat Midgets, a band consisting of me and college chum Ryan Thomson. The first line of the song is:

> Mama took the chicken out of the oven

Somewhere in our apartment is the CD containing this song, and I’ll post an MP3 as soon as I find it, but in the meantime, because the lyrics embody the holiday spirit of love and larceny, here they are in full. Sing this song drunkenly to the tune of your favorite song, or several favorite songs at once.

> Mama took the chicken out of the oven
> And then we all said grace
> But when we opened our eyes again
> A note was in the chicken’s place
> It said:
> “No poultry is safe when I’m in town.”
> (Bandito de Pollo)
> “Your Thanksgiving turkey is going down.”
> (Bandito de Pollo)
> Bandito! De Pollo!
> Enrico! De Pollo!
> Bandito! De Pollo! Oh ho!

The Meat Midgets no longer exist, except in the hearts of children everywhere, but I will always remember them fondly as my second [most serious band](http://www.mamster.net/ratcm/).

**Update (16 April 2006):** [I found the CD](https://www.rootsandgrubs.com/2006/04/16/mama-took-the-chicken/)!