Tomorrow I’m planning to make lobster chowder.
The stage is definitely set for disaster. I’ve never cooked a lobster before. I’ve never even eaten a whole lobster before. Iris has had many questions. Today she asked:
* Do lobsters have crabby hands?
* Is it okay if the lobster pinches your hand?
* Is it okay if the lobster pinches your finger?
* Does that not hurt?
* Can we have the chowder right now?
She hasn’t, however, asked anything about the fact that the lobsters will be alive when they go into the pot and dead when they come out.
This is dependent on finding lobsters at University Seafood and Poultry tomorrow, but the forecast is good.
I’m not asking for advice. It’ll be much funnier if I go in blind and come out with lobsters hanging from my earlobes.
Raul once made lobster and tried the technique of decapitating it instead of boiling it alive because he found the latter disturbing. He sliced behind the head and the body started going into spasms, fell off the counter and lurched across the kitchen floor for about 30 seconds.
I’m not sure he’s made lobster again.
Iris and I were recently watching her new favorite show, America’s Test Kitchen, and they were making pan-roasted lobster. They took the live lobster and cut it into quarters, and it kept twitching. They scooped out the tomalley and stuff and heated the oil in the pan. Then they put the lobster in the pan, and it *started twitching again*.
Aw man, I skipped that part because I thought, “There is no way I am ever making pan-roasted lobster.”
My parents were on a camping trip in the northeast on their honeymoon and they’d bought a live lobster to cook. They put it in the pot over the fire and the water’s boiling away and then the lid starts rattling and aieee the lobster’s crawling out. So following the dictates of horror movies they shove it back in and hold down the lid until it’s dead, and it seems like everything ended happily. But I should point out they moved out to the west coast immediately afterwards and never looked back.
I KNOW WHAT YOU COOKED LAST SUMMER
I must be a horribly callous person because the thought of putting that giant bug in a boiling pot of water until it dies doesn’t bother me at all!