Anita of [Married with Dinner](http://www.marriedwithdinner.com/) fame has selected me to share my list of Five Things to Eat Before You Die. I urge you to take this list seriously. If you do not eat these five things, I can’t be responsible for the consequences.

1. Lasagna Bolognese. You have to make the pasta yourself. You have to make both sauces (ragu and bechamel) yourself. I’m not sure what threshing is, but I’m sure it would help if you threshed the wheat yourself. By the time it’s done, you may be too exhausted to eat, but whoever is still awake will be rewarded with the most savory of all foods.

2. Nueske’s bacon.

3. Deluxe Tan Tan Noodles, Szechuan Chongqing Restaurant, Vancouver BC. I’ve been going here regularly since I was 12, and these noodles, served hot with ground pork and a spicy, peanutty sauce, have never changed. Don’t wear your best shirt.

4. Fluffy catfish salad (*yam pla doog foo*), Thailand. This dish sums up everything I love about Thai food: sourness, spiciness, fresh fish, and mastery of the deep fryer. The catfish is basically unrecognizable as fish, because it’s been flaked into small pieces before frying.

5. Montgomery Cheddar. The other farmhouse cheddars of note (Keen’s and Isle of Mull) are more acidic than this one. Montgomery has the perfect crumbly balance. It’s expensive, but I could probably afford to eat it every day if I sold Iris on eBay.