So, I thought this was going to be a great idea that would cement my reputation as a guy who has great ideas, but it turned out to be just a good idea, so I’m posting it on my blog. (The great ideas are sold to a shadowy gang of patent strongmen.)

It started when I read something in a recent food magazine about a tasty-sounding oatmeal topping. Which magazine? I have no idea. What was the topping? Beats me. I couldn’t find it again. I thought so hard about oatmeal toppings that toasted oatmeal-scented smoke was rising from my head, and then I had a breakthrough.

A few years ago my mom was bringing bacon candy to every party. Bacon candy is bacon glazed with brown sugar and, optionally, nuts. I didn’t like it. I don’t want sweet bacon. But I do put brown sugar on my oatmeal, so I thought: what if I made candied bacon bits and sprinkled them on oatmeal?

This morning I finally got around to it. I sliced some thick rashers of Bavarian Meats bacon, sprinkled them with brown sugar, and put them in the oven. While the bacon simmered in its bed of syrup, I made a pot of steel-cut oats. When everything was done, I diced the bacon and sprinkled it on top. I put Iris’s bacon on the side, because she’s not big on toppings.

As I said, it was good but not great. I was hoping for crunchy, super-bacony bits, but they were chewy and got mostly lost in the oats. I might give it another shot, but if anyone else wants to take this idea and run with it, there’s a shadowy gang I could introduce you to.