Iris convinced me to buy a box of Jelly Belly Bean Boozled, where you never know whether your jelly bean will be licorice or skunk, café latte or ear wax. (Some people, I realize, would have a hard time choosing between licorice and skunk.)
I consented to eat them until I got one of the vomit-flavored ones. Iris wouldn’t try any. While I was throwing away the rest, I looked at the box and laughed, realizing that the most granolified pure foods person would surely be delighted to know that this product is…
NATURALLY AND ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED
How very Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans of the Jelly Belly folks.
As for the flavors, isn’t it kind of a good thing that these candies don’t contain natural vomit or skunk flavors? Sometimes there’s a bit of comfort in artifice.
I’d be hesitant to learn the natural sources for vomit and ear wax. Imagine being the flavorist charged with making the skunk bean taste more skunky, or the vomit bean taste like real barf, not just acid reflux.
My only quip was the black pepper bean. That’s bad?
The pencil shavings one isn’t bad, either.
I visited the Jelly Belly factory in
Las Vegas. We got to try every flavor even the booger flavor. The most fun thing is to make Jelly Belly mixes in your mouth and invent flavors.