Okay, bad title, plus this post is entirely self-aggrandizing. This has never stopped me before. It also has an uplifting message and is about an event that you can’t go to because it’s over and you probably weren’t invited.

Still with me? Of course you are! The other day Laurie and I went to a meat party thrown by Matt and Danika Wright of the blog Wrightfood. All of the food was delicious, especially the 18-pound slow-roasted pork shoulder, which was carved by yours truly. Read Matt’s blog–there’s a photo to prove it.

What’s that? You didn’t know I could carve a roast, like a real man? You’re right: I can’t. Until the other night I had never carved anything more challenging than a boneless pork loin in my life. But Matt put the roast on the table and said, “You’ve all had enough wine, I’m just going to let someone dig in here.” I found myself on my feet. (I had had enough wine.)

It went fine. The pork was so tender that I was basically pulling off chunks with a knife and dripping bits on the tablecloth. As I carved, I remembered a story that I used to tell my biology TAs. Not a good story, but relevant nonetheless.

For a couple of quarters I was a teaching associate at the University of Washington. This meant I supervised the TAs, demonstrated the labs for them, gave them pep talks, leaned against the walls of their classrooms twirling my mustachios in a threatening manner, and so on.

Before reporting to my first day of work at the teaching job, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. “Are you a pharmacist?”

“Huh?” I replied.

“Your shirt.” I was wearing a [Ted Leo and the Pharmacists](http://tedleo.com/) shirt with a vaguely pharmacological symbol on it.

Later I met my TAs, many of whom were concerned that, as undergrads teaching undergrads, they wouldn’t be taken seriously by their students. I told the pharmacist story and said that if wearing a shirt can make an actual pharmacist believe I’m a pharmacist, they are going to have no problem.

To sum up, next time I hear, “Does anybody here know how to fly a plane?” that’s gonna be me, flying your plane!