Category Archives: Funny Iris quote

Deep freeze

Yesterday Iris invented a new game called Freezer. She pretends to be a frozen food and I put her in the freezer, aka the couch. Then I remove her from the freezer, prepare her appropriately, and take a bite.

Here favorite variation is where she is made into a burger, because I can pat out the patty (“pat, pat”), put her in the skillet (“sizzle!”), flip her over, then put her on a bun (two couch cushions). “You almost forgot the HP sauce!” says Iris.

On one round, I said she was a box of popsicles.

> **Me:** I’m going to open up this box and take out a banana popsicle. Mmm! [I chew on her arm.]

> **Iris:** That’s not a popsicle, that’s an arm.

> (pause)

> **Iris:** Do boxes have arms?

A conversation at lunchtime

Last night Laurie and I had dinner at [Crémant](http://www.cremantseattle.com/), a new French bistro in Madrona. It was a great meal of classic bistro dishes. As one of our friends said, “I don’t want to order roasted marrow bones, but it’s nice to know they’re on the menu.”

I had grilled sardines and French onion soup. French onion soup has got to be one of the most difficult things in all of cooking to make well, judging by its tragic win/loss record, but this one was *perfect*. Laurie had a charcuterie plate that included a delicate thin-sliced blood and tongue sausage, and a *salade toulousienne* with beans, Toulouse sausage, and duck confit. We didn’t really have room for dessert, so we ordered crème brûlée, which was as archetypal as the soup.

Today we were telling Iris about our dinner, especially the dessert. “What is crème brûlée?” she asked. Laurie explained that it’s like pudding with crunchy sugar on top.

“Do I like crunchy pudding?” asked Iris.

Kitchen in the sky

Iris has invented this new game called Kitchen in the Sky. We’ll be playing out on the balcony, and she’ll say, “Dada, put a kitchen in the sky.” So I pretend to put a kitchen in the sky. Then a plane will go by, and she’ll say that the plane wrecked the kitchen and I should build a new one. Here’s what happened today:

> **Iris:** Dada, put *two* kitchens in the sky.

> **Me:** Okay. My kitchen has stainless steel appliances. What does your kitchen have?

> **Iris:** My kitchen has cookies!

That which does not destroy my nasal passages makes them stronger

Laurie and Iris are out of town this week, so I am living my latent glamorous bachelor lifestyle. Last night I slathered some flank steak with pureed chipotles and sauteed it to make some tacos. It seemed like a good idea, but most of the chipotle ended up stuck to the pan, and the rest ended up vaporized. My entire apartment now has that smoky, spicy chipotle flavor we all love. Don’t tell Iris this, however. Lately, even though she actually still does like spicy food (she was gobbling green curry with rice the other day), she thinks she doesn’t, so every time I offer her something, she says, “Is it not spicy?”

When I was buying the flank steak I noticed that at QFC, all of the beef they sell is now antibiotic- and hormone-free. Nice.

A wee bit of butter

Last night I was planning to make a recipe for spaghetti with chard and pancetta from Pasta Harvest, a recipe which has the advantage of using the chard stems in the pasta and generating a chard leaf salad to eat afterwards.

Iris was excited about this idea. The other day we were at the U District farmers market, and we visited the adjacent community garden, where I pointed out a little baby red chard growing in one plot. This didn’t seem to make much of an impression at the time, but then later, when I was putting her to bed…

> **Me:** And we went to the farmers market.

> **Iris:** Dada, you know a plant called chard?

When we got to QFC, though, I had to dash Iris’s hopes, because when I saw the fennel, I knew it was time to make fennel in the style of the chef, meaning with lots of butter. “That’s okay,” said Iris. Here’s how I made it, and it was great.

**PENNE WITH FENNEL AND BACON**
Serves 3

*This is actually less butter than the chef used.*

3 strips thick-cut bacon, cut crosswise into half-inch strips
5 tablespoons butter
2 large fennel bulbs, cored and sliced thin
pinch red pepper flakes
3/4 pound penne rigate
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano
salt

1. Cook the bacon in a skillet over medium heat until crisp. Remove to a paper-towel-lined plate and pour off all but 1 tablespoon of fat.

2. Add the butter to the pan. When it’s melted, add the fennel and a healthy sprinkle of salt and the red pepper flakes stir well. Cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Cook, stirring occasionally until very tender, about 20 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to the boil. Add the penne and cook until al dente. Drain and return to the pot. Add the fennel and butter, the reserved bacon and the cheese. Stir well and serve in warmed big bowls.